So here I am. Back in daily learning module in school since 1.02 in Seinäjoki Sedu. This time it for accountancy. Yes I have gone thro this before in Estonia, well atleast the basics of it, but This is very common, coming with not being native finnish. I have had business training module in 2008 but it obviously was...
When walking in forest in autumn there is ao much to see. colors, colors does it for me. and Imagination on what might go one there when you are not there, thus a fairytale scene is born. Vividly infront of my mind of different happenings. This stump was so magical. I had a similar photo from a trip to forest in autumn but my friend managed to capture a better one, I asked her to use the photo and the story around it was bourn in process. Gold Legs and different spieses having fun in the midst of their possibly secret society. This is a painting of friendship that overcomes, doesnt even put any attention on their differences.
This painting I made for Sakustars 2023 Contest themed Routs and Shoots.
I have wanted to paint this also for years but never came to it, now it was a perfect opportunity eventough I literally had a week for deadline.
My view of the painting. Unfortunatley it is a real memory from late 90s. Not too long ago. But I see the interpretation of the painting in many levels. Starting with we all are the same and different. The Egyptian Boxing system still exists to date unfortunatley. Our community is evolving but it is hard to dicover yourself in a box where you dont feel you belong to. You are pushed into one or another without your choice of words or opinions. Sometimes we make the box comfortable to us ignoring the fact. And sometimes it is a better choise cause fighting against it might also end ones life. But Most important in my opinion is to be aware and make it aware in order to wake up and when you wake up it liberates in some levels but captures you in others.
Painting is not for sale at this moment. It is participating in Sakustars Contest and after that Inwould like it to participate in my next exhibition. If you are interested pm me and make an offer.
Nature always has its ways to be unpredictable. I desided to paint this moment i have seen on. avideo couple of years ago roaming the internet with a man in white camo standing like that. And a big wild nature sniffing its back. The moment the animal had left and the huntsman lowered his armor, the relief, shaking by knees. I laughed so hard. I watched it multiple times. It burned to my memory. Unfortunatley I couldnt find the video anymore. Before the development of this painting we had wonderful orange sunsets and sundowns for weeks in January 2022. Thus this piece was born. My partner modeled with an airgun. I hope this painting will offer as much as it offers to me. It has a lot to say.
One day I was changing my babys diper. I couldnt get my eyes off the beautyful bird. So i desided to paint it as sister painting for my blade collection showcase for 2022. And around same time an estonian photographer Aivo Oblikas had posted ice bird photos on facebook, and I was astonished. have never seen the small one in person but the pictures made me feel connection to them. Absolutley beautiful creatures.
Even tough a wolf has been eaten and chewn away in so many ways in creative world but it still speaks to so many of us. I have had a vision of this situation in my mind. Wolves are a big conversation subject also right now in our country. It definitely did not make me feel good when hunters confirmed that a huge wolf had gone thro her yard in the morning last year. But i def cryed when newspapers said that the reason there is so many here is they have found a home here. This painting is far from realistic. But a lovley idyllic idea of that rare blue eyed alpha providing to his fresh family in an untoutched enviroment. The love, sincerety, non complicated world reflecting my own dreams and peace of mind. My own complex family without the complications. Beauty of it. The creation of a warm place for cubs to play, for parents to enjoy.
Verisart Blockchain certified and ownership rights transferred to new owner. Location Etelä Pohjanmaa, Finland.
I purchased these two old wooden hand saws a year ago from an antique merchandiser. I had seen on internet someone doing famous peoples portraits on them and I liked the idea of it being unique and re-using something old. The only thing in my mind at that moment was that they belong with my big saw "White necklace" as a united front with same message. I had no idea on what to do on them. This is the first one. Second is under make. But this spring I saw an add in the newspaper, a call for artists "Valoa näkyvissä" ("Light in horizon" or "Light in sight" Depends by how to interpret it). Just couple of days earlier we had thunder here, I dont have the best camera so I dont take many pictures on nature anymore. I remembered that someone had posted this photograph to Facebook from their yard on just couple of days ago. The most vibrant horizon colors I have seen in a while and with a pink rainbow. Just before the thunder hits the colors become so vivid. I asked him if I can use the photograph, he said Yes and I knew I wanted an animal on the blade. Cause the idea behind these blades is to remind what is on the other side of them. From Google CC picture search I found this cute fox. It fitted perfectly as I had recently read a topic on Reddit about "into what 1% do you belong to?" and somehow a comment stood out on blue eyed redhead. Beautiful piece of serenity. Just before thunder. I love those moments! And Those moments I have been in, I have forgotten everything about life, the worries. It is those moments of new, exiting unknown vibrancy. Light on Horizon. The fresh smell of air, warmth and vibrations of colors.
This painting I have wanted to do ever since I layed eyes on the blade when I started working with it in 2012. I was very unsure about it, cause I was lacking experience with acrylics lifespan on metal blade. So in 2013 I painted my dear friends portrait on it. Now it has been inside and outside half of the time and I knew it would work and last atleast my time. And I was ready to do it.
First time I saw the blade. I was terrified and fascinated at the same time. It reminded me of avatar movie. The big fight scene. Scary in both ways.
Untoutched by human hand. Even tough forests don't look like that without care. But these blades are used to turn that peaceful place upside down. For the ones who resident there. Never ending fight between nature lovers and comforty production for nowadays humans. I love fantasy novels and the mystic stories in lands of fairy's, warewolves, vampires etc. And She is my mystical creature taken the form of a bear, someone who is worth to be scared for, someone great and graceful. Someone who has been searched for a long time but has desided to stay hidden. Now chose to show herself. Maybe the bear is how I feel or maybe this is just another pretty picture.
Painting residents at my home.
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The last place I felt at home was my grandparents house. We lived there from 1992 to 1997 after my grandfather died. The house is fully renovated by my aunt and nothing of it looks the same anymore, this place in this painting is what stays in my heart. A strong memory of last happy and condent times before I stepped into the outer world of community with people and my bighest struggles in life begun. There I was happy, played in nature, had fun by myself, I had a loving mother and friends. Life was happy in its every meaning. I had no knowledge of the evil upon coming years or outer world. I sat on the grass, chased butterfly's, played with mud and flower puppets, ate fruits from trees and berries from bushes. Drew cartoons from TV, danced in rain. There were no judgements, sadness, hatred, jealousy, etc. It was pure. It was my childhood home. The only good thing I held on to for many oncoming years.
Painting residents at my home.
Acrylic on canvas, A4, 2020
My mother was not home for the day. I was 5/6 years old. I knew she is coming from 9pm buss. I had nothing to do cause it was very cold outside. I desided that I wanted to make my mother happy. So I cleaned. I cleaned the whole house. And carried the wood in. Washed the floors. Lighted the fire about 20 minutes before she came. She had asked me to bring the wood in so that she will light it when she comes. But I had seen her doing it so many times. I made her hit coffee and placed a candle on the table in front of the kitchen window.
Boom the door flew open and my mother came barging in yelling my name out of breath. I startled while doing the dishes and started to cry. She yelled at me. Then she came and hugged me and comforted to calm down. She said she had seen a light on the window and smoke from the chimney and was scared I had lighted the house on fire so she ran home. It was very crispy and cold air with full moon. This is how she saw it. No fire. But still thought the worst. I understand. But laugh at the same time. Now that I have a small child I understand it even better.
Painting residents at my home.
My father always told me that I have chosen a pine tree as my birth tree (druids horoscope). Tree of independence. Pine is gorgeous. And likes to stand alone. What's wrong with me then? If I am so independent then why world around me makes me sad. I don't want to be independent but I wish I was. I depend on people's happiness around me. It hurts to see them sad. It makes me sad. The world makes me sad. I depend on a smiling face. I depend on love. I depend on sadness and joy. I wished things would be more simple. I wished our lives would not depend on money or support of others. I wished everyone's lives would be happy fairytales.
Painting residents at my home.
This painting started as purely fun and obsession on blue and bright jellow/orange. And all of a sudden there was this massive beautiful daisy. But it was empty, closed my eyes and pictured it on soe field and first thing that came to mind was sun, second a bee. But I did not want a simple bee. I needed it to be fun and something different. So I had an Idea of a motorcycle as a bee. And in fairyland a bee has a rider. So I desided to make a motorcyclist women to work as a bee. And while juicing up on the flower nectar came a surprise visit by the owl. Often in life it is so that while you wait for something or someone, you notice those butterfly's and bees and small insects. This painting is just fun and colorful.
Painting residents at my home.
I met this guy. In our fourth meeting he said that on of my motos for life is bullcrap and not possible.
"Fly high but keep your legs on the ground", I wanted to show him that it is possible. For him to stop stressing and seeing also those beautiful things behind the dark clouds, where things go clear, the feeling is pure. I opened myself up to him.
Painting residents at my home.
I was cruising around in Maalahti, Near Vaasa, Finland, with my 2007 vfr 800Doh, and I stopped before one bridge over the river. I took my diary with me and some pencils, to just explore or get inspired. My head was a mess from everything. I needed fresh air. I found some wild strawberrys, picked some and sat down on a big rock near the river, just felt the wind in my hair. Birds, sun, sand, water. Clear my head. And asked my self. What am I doing? I wanted to be creative but at the same time it felt that all I do is for nothing, nobody. I didn't feel satisfied by just doing it for me. Was it wasting time? I had lots of questions filling up my mind. And I was also annoyed at myself for roaming around without direction and waiting that maybe it will happen to me like happened to Cinderella, a door to better life, to satisfaction factory openes, or someone else maybe openes it. Like her godmother. But those kind of godmothers don't exist and I have been sitting on the pumpkin for as long as I remember. Dreaming of the easy happy life of a fairytale. Waiting for a fairy to turn it to pumpkin and give me a chance for happy life. But at the same time feeling helpless and clueless on what to do for things to get better, if 90% of what makes you sad is not your making. That moment I thought that I need to refocus on what makes me happy, and how to change the way I feel. I realised I had let myself go and I should go back to one old truth, manipulate myself to not feel how I feel as long as something else comes on the way. But feel better, ignore the negative, and focuse. It was a good motorcycle ride.
Painting residents at my home.
I reconnected with an old friend, he asked me how is it to live up north, and I told him where I lived. And he said he is jealous, that it sounds so peaceful place and he has never seen northern lights with his own eyes. I thought about my words and I cleared my mind on what I know was behind those words and tried to create new place. And this is what I saw. He has never been to lapland, I have. It is gorgeous place I would not like to live but visiting is a dream. So I painted that vision of what I feel is up north. That feeling of what people go to search when they taken trips to nature.
Painting has found a home in Estonia to Private collection.
Painting got destroyed.
That is a self portrait. Me looking into myself. In all seriousness STOP! I wanted to capture the moment of ending the old and start with new! Stop being taunted by the past! And stop caring about negative around me! This painting is made to remind myself to start living and lift my head out from under the water!
Painting residents at my home.
When you look back at time, think of all you have been thro. All the fresh woonds and tears, depression and sadness. When you felt alone and wanted everything to end. It is still sad now but now you know to care less. You wish you could share the love for yourself that you have now with the you in your past, you wish you cared less, you wish a lot that you did not know then. You wish yourself to be able to help yourself more. That is the path to healing. You looked for help everywhere but non of it helped the way you needed it to help. The feeling of wanting to hug your own past you.
Painting residents at my home.
First piece of the "orange trio". My father always said that a man will lift the woman up into the light. That a proper man will take care of the spouse and instead stamping on the woman, he will lift her up. With simple things, Like "I am a good cook cause you have thought me well", instead "if you would bother me less I would listen more".
That feeling when you have exposed your every aspect, small details of yourself and you feel you have given all you can at the time. And you feel even better, powerful, cause you have been lifted, taken care, its like a whole new you have been opened a door for. You shine cause someone accepted all of you. You trusted someone and they did not gringe, they said it is cool. It is something I struggle to describe. But in other words you could also describe the place in time when you fart in front of the other and instead of "eww" comes "a good one". Not a comfort zone but the start of it.
Painting residents at my home.
This is a second piece of the "orange trio". You know when you do best at your power in a relationship to bring forth positive emotions, and you expose yourself in every way you can. Its like going to dinner, you fancy yourself up and you are exited but after wards learn you weren't really invited.
And after you feel humiliated and exposed, but somewhat happy it didn't go worse. It's the moment of thinking, thousand different ways to approach the stand you are gonna make. That moment making desisions.
Painting residents at my home.
I wanted to something that talks about me. I for some reasons travelled a lot in my dreams on those years. So here I am, obsessed with blue colored hair, loving the 20s sun umbrella for lady's, dressed up for an night out was when I felt the best, on the streets of rainy London. Curious as always, happy, content in my bubbly view of world.
But somehow always feels that there is danger lurking around the next corner to lure me In in its many different forms. A fight with a friend, a bad financial desision, trust in wrong people. Here I am, aware of all of it, and nothing in my power to avoid them, cause avoiding would mean also stop living at the same time.
Painting residents at my home.
Cats, they always feel so majestic and like they know what you do not. This is a brother to one commission painting. I loved this photograph so much cause of the look in his eyes. It is like he is a higher being. The extinct blue blood.
Painting residents at my home.
This was a Life changing painting for me. I was going thro crisis of low self esteem. And I remember sitting down with mother on a sunny day on front steps of the house and my mother looking at me and saying where unearth all this is coming from. She has believed in me ever since I drew a Fabian Fish from mermaid when I was 4 years old. She never understood why I had quit when I went to school and she saw talent, while I saw kids drawings and I was out of ideas. My mother pushed me. She gave me the idea. And asked me to really work and really give it a go with all my heart, doesn't matter how many hours go there. But Visualize her sayings. A Glass wine, a sun, and a motorcycle coming from the vine glass. I took a breath and I worked 3 weeks on it. And for the first time I stepped back, and I couldn't believe I did this. It looks like those really talented people on internet. And I admired it for months, I still do, cause this painting is at my home. After this I started putting more effort to my work. I also started having commission jobs and for the first time I had orders enough to have a waiting list and not enough to feed myself with it. It changed the whole game for me.
Painting residents at my home.
My mother said to me after I had moved to Finland that she had hard time to be with me. That She remembers me as a Warm bubbly person and Now I was so cold and distant.
I did not understand her at the time. But I was pretty upset with her. So I painted a cold face inside those fun flames. It took me long time, but After the move I felt happy and content and I could not paint the flames unhappy. This painting made painting details somehow fun. I was melting to the idea of painting more and more. This painting unfortunately got insured in 2018 on local art exhibition. I still have it, with a broken nose, But haven't found heart to get rid of it.
I saw this in my dream. That Feeling of Hot and Cold, Wet and Dry and you know that feeling when you take a whole banana and mush it into your fist and everything comes out from between your fingers. That feeling is odd enough so I desided to paint it.
This was my first painting when I moved to Finland in 2011.
I got inspired from "Tangled" movie and at the same time I was going throe in my head relationship goals and I was in between relationships. This Painting describes the feelings I went throe. I was dreaming of those beautiful things you see in Fairy-tales, but Life doesn't always throw stuff at you like that. I painted the Fairyland into my mouth with a mirror. But where do all those nice things end up that come out from your mouth? They come out! And outside they blend into one big thing, from where we start to talk, judge, and sort out for our eyes to see. It is called in a way creating I guess. Creating opinions maybe. And what up with those trees? At the time I felt so hopeless. I felt that I did not want to be with anyone But I ended up understanding you can not live alone. You need that other side. Other side who fertilizes your thoughts like some plums or cherries. They need that other tree there to bear fruit. I Felt I was alone. But I dream bigger. I dreamed that other that makes the circle complete, makes you a better person. That Fairyland. And how I got to a point not to give up.
The frame is my hand made also. To Complete the circle. I had so much fun painting this painting. It remains on my wall to date.